how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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