apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize