i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
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just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
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Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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