my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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