So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize