I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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