Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
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From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
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i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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