She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize