So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize