i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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