Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
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I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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