Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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