I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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