I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize