I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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