Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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