I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize