Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
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