My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
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How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
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my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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