i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
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I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
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You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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