the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I have feelings that need drinking.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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