I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip ๐๐๐
Your skills amaze me
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
Theyโre in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize