Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
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I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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