im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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