she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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