I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
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he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
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Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
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