Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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