I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
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why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
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Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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