We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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