Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize