Buhtt sex?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
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his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
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I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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