If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
being pregnant is like rehab
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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