I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize