The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize