I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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