Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize