if you like me you must not know who I am
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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