Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I want a musical about memes.
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