Who did Billy Mays play for?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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