I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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