When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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