you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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