So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
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This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
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Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Floor bacon is actually really good
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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