i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize