but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize