What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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