Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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