we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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