i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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