remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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