It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize