it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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